Delton Crosses a Road

When last we left our hero, he had just cleaned an air duct with more hose attachments than anyone had ever used before. But this accomplishment did not fulfill him quite like his previous job as the top district attorney in New York City.

Delton slipped off his goggles and a lock of jet black hair fell into his pale blue eyes. He stretched, worked his powerful shoulders and fabulous arms. Some stiffness remained from last night’s date with Angela. She had drugged him, again, then had sex with him. One of her many desperate attempts to have his baby. He was accustomed to it. Connie had tried the week before, and Delores the week before that. He smiled wistfully. He didn’t mind their attempts. He knew it gave them hope.

He felt the air duct shake and heard pounding again. This shook him from his deep thoughts

“Del, come on, we’ve got to get going!” Ferdie yelled.

“Gotcha,” Delton said, dragging his vacuum toward the hatch. He handed Ferdie the vacuum with the seven telescopic attachments still connected to the hose. Ferdie looked at them and shook his head.

“You’re crazy, man.”

“There’s a point in time when you have to go for it,” Delton said as he climbed down the ladder. He froze. The memory of Johnson & Johnson charged through his brilliant, educated and humble mind. The horror.

“What’s the matter, man?”

Delton shook his head, clenched his powerful fist. “Nothing,” he said.

Ferdie seemed tense, because he was doing things tense people do. “Look Del,” he said, “We have to talk.”

Delton could have heard a pin drop, even with the large air-conditioner turbines starting up, pumping cool air through the ducts he had just cleaned. He could have heard it because Delton had always been good at hearing things. He heard things other people didn’t.

This wasn’t about sound, though. He knew what was coming. He was no fool. He graduated second in his class at the University of Virginia law school. He could have been first, effortlessly, but always answered some questions incorrectly to place only second. He was humble. In fact, Delton was the humblest, smartest person he knew. And Delton knew many people.

Ferdie led him to a conference room somewhere deep in the bowels of the building. He flipped on the light and they sat in their overalls around a large table. Ferdie at one end, Delton at the other. Delton was comfortable in the setting but he could see that Ferdie was unaccustomed to such important furniture.

Ferdie wiped his moustache. He was a short man with brown and gray hair, never clean. Unlike Delton's manly tide of virile sweat, Ferdie shined with perspiration, his face glistening almost always.

“Delton, you’re the best industrial cleaner we’ve ever had…”

“Hey, Ferdie, it’s me, remember; what’s up?” Delton said.

“I’ve got to let you go, Del. I’m sorry. Cutbacks you know.”

“I know. I saw it coming.” Delton smiled.

“If you could take, like, a percentage cut in your pay, we could keep you on board.”

Delton’s smile melted off his face. “What are we talking about here?”

“Del, listen, I think you’re worth the one hundred dollars an hour we pay you, but the other guys make a lot less than that. Don't get me wrong, it would be the right thing to do, but I can’t cut their pay any more than I already have. It’s that left-wing minimum wage crap. To top it off, if you can believe it, the other workers are a little put out by the discrepancy.”

“They’re not lawyers!”

“I know, Del, really. If you could take like a thirty percent cut in pay, we could keep you on.”

“I got bills Ferdie. Attorney size bills. Am I gettin' through?”

“I know Del. I can’t imagine the pressure you’re under.” Ferdie scratched his dirty head. “Isn’t one of your girlfriends an heiress or something and doesn’t the other one run Hewlett Packard? Couldn’t they help you out?”

Delton shook his head. “So the solution is for me to freeload? You know I can’t do that.”

“I’m sorry, Del.”

Delton smiled and shrugged. “How’s that Habitat for Humanity house I helped build, is it working out for you and your family?”

“You know I’ll always be grateful,” Ferdie said.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Delton walked over to Ferdie and shook his hand. “You be good.”

“You’ll be alright?” Ferdie stood and gripped Delton's muscular shoulder.

“I’ll be fine. I didn’t graduate second in my class at UVA law school for nothing.” Delton laughed again and the room filled with sunshine; Ferdie couldn't tell if it was from Delton's teeth, his eyes, or some other light-generating orifice, as Delton had so many. He only knew it was warm.

As they stepped from the conference room, some early-arriving female associates of the pharmaceutical giant walked passed them, staring at Delton. One of them stepped on Ferdie's feet; the other fainted with a doughnut in her mouth.

With a deft Heimlich maneuver, Delton dislodged the savage pastry. When the woman came to, she asked to touch his chest hair, if only briefly, to feel Delton's heart. The other woman slipped her business card in his pocket, while standing on Ferdie's groin, who had toppled over with a broken foot.